A Sarcastic Chemist's Extreme Weight Loss Chronicle

A chronicle of the journey I am taking to become healthy.

Day 186- Olympics

July 10, 2016 by Staci | 0 comments



Everyone close to me knows I am crazy about swimming, competitive swimming that is. I watch every single televised swimming event during the Olympics. I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer when I was a pre-teen, but Missouri isn’t know for competitive swimming. I competed in one meet, with 2 practices under my belt and I got 6th place in 3 of the 4 events (strokes) I swam out of about 30 swimmers. I also was over a body length handicapped because I didn’t know how to dive off the blocks so I was diving off the side. I swam the 50m in free, breast, back and fly. I was disqualified in fly because I did a flutter kick rather than a dolphin kick coming off the wall. But I really hated butterfly so my only complaint was they had me finish the race before they told me. But my team disbanded because the coaches stole the money the swimmers had given them for swimsuits. We were registered to go to a national meet 3 weeks after the incident in Minneapolis. It was devastating, most of my teammates joined another team 1 or 2 hours away, but my mom said I couldn’t. So there went my swimming dreams.

I still love to swim though and even for my weight I am still quite good at it. I can still do the butterfly which is a difficult stroke, but not well. I only do it when my nephew asks me to show it to him. I try to swim for exercise but like I said Missouri isn’t known for swimming, I find it really hard to find a place to swim that isn’t too crowded or has workable open swim times into my schedule.

So now that it is Olympics time again I want to share another story about high school but not about swimming. When I was a senior in high school I got bumped off the varsity roster for being the 3rd best thrower on the track team. I was dethroned by a freshman and I was so upset I quit the team. Well today that team mate made her 2nd Olympic team in the javelin throw and is on her way to Rio. I guess I can handle being demoted by a 2 time Olympic athlete. She got 15th in London so I’m hoping she does a lot better in Rio. Super proud of my alma mater!

Day One: Weigh-In

January 3, 2016 by Staci | 492 Comments

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I started this diet back in November before Thanksgiving, and in the first week I lost 14.6 pounds. YAY! But then Thanksgiving hit and I gained back 4.4 lbs. After that I didn’t weigh in again until just now. Over the holiday season I lost most of that weight back except for about a pound. I started at 392.4 lbs, I know, I know. I feel your judgement through the computer keys. Today I weighed in at 379.4 pounds, so I’ve lost 13.2 pounds so far. I’d say that’s pretty good, for really only trying for a week. Especially since I would have sworn I gained it all back over the holidays.

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Many people are saying new year, new me. But I mean business, I can’t live like this anymore. In November when I started it was because I had gotten some bad news from my doctor. It was no longer a matter of ‘if’ I would get type 2 diabetes. It was ‘when’. So I had to change. I had edema in my legs, the tight skin was itchy. I was miserable. If I put my jeans on first, I cannot put my socks on. I can barely touch my shins when I bend over. I’m in some serious trouble.

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At my weight, I’m sure a lot of people are wondering why I don’t just have gastric bypass surgery. Well several reasons, I don’t want to take the easy way out. And I don’t want to have to restrict myself EVERY single day to an egg at a time. But also, I can’t afford it. So I am trying to lose weight by diet and exercise. I know this will be a difficult journey, but I’ve had difficult journeys before.

Also I have an incredible support system. My whole family supports me in this and will help me however I need it. My sister in law has also battled with her weight and she lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago. Then she had twins and gained only some of it back. So she’s dieting with me. Plus my father is diabetic, he lost enough weight to not be on medication, but he’s since gained quite a bit back. So he’s dieting with me as well. And since I just got out of grad school and just found a job, I’m not quite on my feet yet so I’m living with him and my mom. So pretty much what I eat he eats (I’m the main chef in our house). And every Sunday we will be having family weigh ins. Accountability is key to a successful diet in my opinion.

Here are the mandatory before pictures. I feel like a teenage girl right now. I just did my hair and makeup solely for a selfie session in the bathroom. In my defense I only took about 8 pictures instead of 25 or something ridiculous. I started to suck in like I normally do for pictures, but I was like nuh uh, this is a before picture, gut out and it makes me cringe.  I usually see before pictures with no makeup, bad hair and a frown. But I have terrible resting b***h face, I hate pictures of myself where I am not smiling. So I wanted pretty pictures even for my before ones. Also side note, I tried the beauty trick were you put your hair in a ponytail and then curl it. SO EASY! I don’t think I’ll ever curl my hair the other way again.

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The Challenge

January 3, 2016 by Staci | 31 Comments

Weight loss advice is a dime a dozen. Do this trick lose 50 lbs in a week. Follow this program and loss 200 lbs in a month. It’s sensory overload. I’m stripping it down into something simple. I am NOT a weight loss expert, on the contrary, I am someone just starting on their weight loss journey. I have tried losing weight several ways, nothing has worked. They were too complicated or allowed for too much wiggle room. I am taking a very low key, easy approach this time around to start with. I understand that I’ll need to be stricter when I hit plateaus and get closer to my goals. But for now, simple it is. My plan is as follows.


Eat more protein, dairy, fruits, and vegetables. Sounds so simple, right? Not when you eat very little at home presently. This is going to be a complete over haul in how I eat. Instead of eating carbo-loaded meals from restaurants or ‘gasp’ drive-thrus, I’m going to have to start cooking at home. Now I know how to cook, so it’s not the worst thing ever. I just like the convenience of not cooking. But my waist-line, does not agree with my brain.

However, I want to make very clear that I will be eating carbs. Carbs are an essential part of a human’s diet. Without carbs our bodies purely use stored fat for energy. Great, right? Wrong. Consuming only pure fat for any extended amount of time will lead to a condition called ketoacidosis. Read more about it on WebMD here. It’s the build up of ketones in your body. It’s basically poisoning yourself from the inside. This is something diabetics especially need to watch for and there are pee test strips to measure ketones at most pharmacies.


Processed foods.  I will be trying my absolute best to buy nearly everything from the outer rim of the grocery store. This outer rim is where all the fresh meats, dairy and produce are typically located in most grocery stores. Another daunting task because I am a picky eater. A VERY picky eater. I only currently like a handful of fruits and vegetables. So every Tuesday, I will challenge myself to buy a new fruit or vegetable to try for the first time. This will not include tomatoes. I HATE tomatoes. I can not stand raw tomatoes. I can stomach them cooked, but raw makes me ill. Did I mention how much I dislike tomatoes?


Also every Friday I will post about a new recipe I tried that week. I have a very limited number of meals I actually know how to cook. But my mother has an extensive collection of cookbooks that are gathering dust so I will be breaking them out.


And possibly the most difficult thing I will do is cut out my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper. I am a huge fan of diet soda, I love the stuff. But it can be just as bad as regular soda, though it doesn’t have the calories, it still has similar effects on your body. My number one concern about drinking diet soda-it makes you crave sweets. And I am cutting those out, completely gone except on special occasions. Cake at a birthday party, maybe. Cake on a Tuesday while watching NCIS, nope, I don’t care if it’s a ‘healthy’ cake. None, zero out. I have a major problem with sweets, it’s a snowball effect. Have one cookie, ehh what is 20 more? Cold turkey approach to sweets, don’t have them around, won’t think about them.

Those are my building blocks. The bare minimum things I will try to do. I’m not going to limit myself to 20 foods. Nor am I going to spend a bunch of money on cartons to perfectly portion out every bite. For now there will be no counting of anything involved. Just pure and simple watching and tracking what goes in my mouth. LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!