A Sarcastic Chemist's Extreme Weight Loss Chronicle

A chronicle of the journey I am taking to become healthy.

The Challenge


Weight loss advice is a dime a dozen. Do this trick lose 50 lbs in a week. Follow this program and loss 200 lbs in a month. It’s sensory overload. I’m stripping it down into something simple. I am NOT a weight loss expert, on the contrary, I am someone just starting on their weight loss journey. I have tried losing weight several ways, nothing has worked. They were too complicated or allowed for too much wiggle room. I am taking a very low key, easy approach this time around to start with. I understand that I’ll need to be stricter when I hit plateaus and get closer to my goals. But for now, simple it is. My plan is as follows.


Eat more protein, dairy, fruits, and vegetables. Sounds so simple, right? Not when you eat very little at home presently. This is going to be a complete over haul in how I eat. Instead of eating carbo-loaded meals from restaurants or ‘gasp’ drive-thrus, I’m going to have to start cooking at home. Now I know how to cook, so it’s not the worst thing ever. I just like the convenience of not cooking. But my waist-line, does not agree with my brain.

However, I want to make very clear that I will be eating carbs. Carbs are an essential part of a human’s diet. Without carbs our bodies purely use stored fat for energy. Great, right? Wrong. Consuming only pure fat for any extended amount of time will lead to a condition called ketoacidosis. Read more about it on WebMD here. It’s the build up of ketones in your body. It’s basically poisoning yourself from the inside. This is something diabetics especially need to watch for and there are pee test strips to measure ketones at most pharmacies.


Processed foods.  I will be trying my absolute best to buy nearly everything from the outer rim of the grocery store. This outer rim is where all the fresh meats, dairy and produce are typically located in most grocery stores. Another daunting task because I am a picky eater. A VERY picky eater. I only currently like a handful of fruits and vegetables. So every Tuesday, I will challenge myself to buy a new fruit or vegetable to try for the first time. This will not include tomatoes. I HATE tomatoes. I can not stand raw tomatoes. I can stomach them cooked, but raw makes me ill. Did I mention how much I dislike tomatoes?


Also every Friday I will post about a new recipe I tried that week. I have a very limited number of meals I actually know how to cook. But my mother has an extensive collection of cookbooks that are gathering dust so I will be breaking them out.


And possibly the most difficult thing I will do is cut out my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper. I am a huge fan of diet soda, I love the stuff. But it can be just as bad as regular soda, though it doesn’t have the calories, it still has similar effects on your body. My number one concern about drinking diet soda-it makes you crave sweets. And I am cutting those out, completely gone except on special occasions. Cake at a birthday party, maybe. Cake on a Tuesday while watching NCIS, nope, I don’t care if it’s a ‘healthy’ cake. None, zero out. I have a major problem with sweets, it’s a snowball effect. Have one cookie, ehh what is 20 more? Cold turkey approach to sweets, don’t have them around, won’t think about them.

Those are my building blocks. The bare minimum things I will try to do. I’m not going to limit myself to 20 foods. Nor am I going to spend a bunch of money on cartons to perfectly portion out every bite. For now there will be no counting of anything involved. Just pure and simple watching and tracking what goes in my mouth. LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!



Author: Staci

My name is Staci, I am a chemist by profession. I have focused most of my time on my education and career, so now I'm getting serious about my health.


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